It’s difficult to invest resources and effort into solving a problem when, in fact, the problem is something else.

Many people try to solve a problem they think they have. For example: “I have to make money”. But actually, this person has a thinking problem (how they think about money, how they spend money, how they think about making money). And every morning, they leave home with that thought. In the same way, many people think: “I have a relationship problem in my marriage”. But, in reality, the problem is within them (needy, insecure, hurt), which dictates all of that person’s behaviour, manifesting itself in fights.

The Lord Jesus said: “Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift” (Matthew 5:23-24).

See that the person was in a process; they had to stop because of another situation, and only after resume the process. The lesson is that it would be no use for a person to present an offering to God seeking to please Him when they have an unresolved issue with another person.

That’s how it is with sorrows, for example. They’re hidden. Deep in their heart, a person holds this grudge. They may harbour guilt (in which they cannot forgive themselves for what they did), a desire for revenge against those who wronged them, or pride, which prevents them from reaching out to those they hurt and ask for forgiveness. These are deep feelings that people don’t think about daily, but they can control their behaviour.

It’s like a parent who feels guilty for putting their child through a separation. The child visits their father and sees them with another woman, while the betrayal poisons the mother. And what does the father do? He allows his child to do whatever they want (they even disrespect their stepmother). And the child doesn’t respect his father’s new wife. And, out of guilt, the father leaves things as they are (the guilt of ruining his own family). And the couple fights all the time because of this situation. When, in reality, the problem is the guilt that is there.

These are feelings rooted in the depths of the heart. People don’t think about these things, however you see their external behaviours. There are, for example, even illnesses because of grudges that make a person sick. They don’t think about the consequences; they only think about making the other person pay for what they did.

So, as the Lord Jesus said, there is no point in offering your gift with this pending issue. Grant forgiveness, remove the feeling, the “cancer” from within the heart. And with a light heart, your pride broken, your guilt resolved, your sorrows erased, go back and present your offering, which will bring you results.

Many people don’t go down into the bottom of their hearts to see the dirty things inside, thus wasting time with situations throughout their lives.

Do this cleansing. You will like the result.