TITITI* – On your show, you help couples, you do everything for them to get along, but honestly speaking: how about you? You’ve been together for so long, don’t you ever have a fight?

Cristiane – Hardly ever, but that’s only because we’ve learned to deal with our differences. When one is stressed out, the other remains calm. If we used emotions all the time, we’d fight, because at times, there are reasons for that. We’re not a perfect couple, but there comes a time in life when you have to learn. We’ve been married for almost 25 years, we know how to handle these situations and what buttons not to push.

TITITI – How did you learn to do that?

Cristiane – It’s what we call “intelligent love”, using reason instead of feelings. The other day, Renato was stressed out and when he got home, I joked about something and, if he wasn’t in that kind of mood, he’d joke about it too; instead, he got angry at me. At first, I felt like getting upset at him too, but then I thought, “I’m not going to make a big deal out of this.” So, instead of giving in to my feelings, I took a step back. This is intelligent love. It thinks. It does what is right. If we did what we felt like doing, we would yell at each other, argue, get revenge, and that would never end.

Renato – During our first 12 years together, we had enough fights for the rest of our marriage, right? We learned the hard way: by making mistakes. Today, we teach people they don’t have to make mistakes to learn; they can learn not to make mistakes. That was what motivated us to do this work (on TV and through books like, “Bulletproof Marriage”, a bestseller). Had someone told us back then what not to do, we wouldn’t have made so many mistakes. When we started noticing that we were making the same mistakes as most couples, we saw we needed to alert people.

Interview to “TITITI” news magazine – part 1

* “Gossip”, in Portuguese.

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