Something that constantly shocks me is the habit that some people have of fighting about the most insignificant things in a relationship. Normally, these people easily swallow camels without breaking a sweat. One, two, five… the dromedaries are gulped down their throat, no problem; but, when a mosquito comes around, the skies close.

I’ve met couples who’ve had nasty, but I mean really nasty, fights over some of these types of things:

• Taste in music – A husband liked a certain type of music that his wife disliked. All he had to do was play a song by the artist of that genre and his wife would start to criticize his taste in music severely. The fight would last hours on end.
• Something out of place at home – Day and night she would work to clean the house: washing, drying, organizing. So, when he finished reading his Sunday newspaper and put it on top of the table (instead of throwing it away,) things would get ugly.
• The number of rings before answering a cell phone – A husband would call his wife’s phone and if she didn’t answer after three rings the fight would start on the phone and continue at home.

No, these stories are not fictional. Most fights between couples begin because of stupid things. Of course, it’s also true that these things, at times, are simply the symptoms of indigestion caused by swallowing so many camels. The person has put up with so much that when these stupid little things happen they just snap.

The alternative would be to reverse these habits: keep the camels from passing, but allow the mosquitoes.

If you pick your battles better and define what’s worth fighting for, you will have a lot less fights and a much calmer relationship. That means, you don’t make a big deal out of the dirty socks being out of the bin, because the consequences are minimal: pick them up from the floor and put them in the bin. It’s a mosquito. But you could make a big deal about your partner’s disrespectful behavior towards those of the opposite sex, for example. That camel can bring grave consequences in the future. You can’t let it pass.

Choose your fights wisely. Fight for what’s worth fighting for. As for the rest, act like you don’t see it.

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