“What you want is not always what you need.” A couple came to me recently, and he had betrayed his wife. So, they asked me for help to restore the marriage. What did he want? He was all embarrassed, showing sadness for what he did to his wife. He said: “I wanted my wife to forgive me.” And she – after reporting that they had a beautiful story, had children and plans, saying that she wanted to restore the marriage – in fact, she wanted none of that to have ever happened. But that wasn’t possible.

So, what did he need? Based on our conversation, he needed to repent for what he did. And what seemed apparent was that he was not sorry, but he should have been more careful with his mobile phone. Do you know when the person was sorry for being caught? He wanted forgiveness without being sorry.

To receive forgiveness, repentance is necessary. If the person forgives you, but there is no repentance in you, there is no forgiveness of sins. The person can even be freed by forgiving, but you can’t. Receiving forgiveness without repenting is like receiving a glass of water without being thirsty. You won’t value it.

The wife was visibly angry, nervous, and upset and made no secret of it. In other words, he was saying: “I wanted my wife to be less upset.” And she: “I didn’t want any of this to have ever happened because he ruined our dreams.” So, what would she do? At the same time, she wanted to rebuild; she was punishing her husband every second. She needed to make a decision: “If I’m going to give this man a chance, I need to have the strength to forgive him, and we need to talk about what needs to change in our marriage so that this does not happen again on his part and my part. And we must put a stone on the past and start again.” That’s what she had to do.

Many people are in between what they want and what they need. But they are things, often opposite to each other. They get in the way. It is true that once the Lord Jesus asked the blind man: “What do you want me to do to you?”. But it was because the blind man united what he wanted with what he needed: to see.

Desires and needs are confused. And that’s why people stay in this division of strength. Sometimes, people put strength where it will not bring a result instead of putting it where they should put it. They waste time.

Therefore, you must unite what you want with what you need (and put your strength there).

Think about it and watch the video above.