I received the following comment to my article “Are you your child’s savior?”, to which I subsequently respond:

I have a 24-year-old son who lives with me, is unemployed, has dropped out of university, doesn’t work at all, and spends day and night on the Internet playing games in his bedroom… He only comes out to eat and take a bath. I’ve been praying to God, but I see no change. He says he doesn’t want to quit his addiction. I try not to make things easy, but he has a girlfriend who is 38 and does everything for him. She even takes the food to his mouth! I don’t know what to do. He doesn’t contribute anything to the house. My husband, his stepfather, is a wonderful person; he can’t bear the situation, but at the same time he doesn’t want to offend him. His girlfriend moved in with us about a month ago. She’s very helpful to everyone in the house, but she spoils him too much… ANSWER ME, WHAT DO I DO IN THIS SITUATION?

Dear mother, what you have to do is very clear and straightforward:

Unless your son is physically or mentally incapacitated, kick the bum out.

You and his girlfriend are enabling his lack of responsibility. With room and board for free, his new live-in nanny who’s probably giving him sex too (one assumes), and free Internet, what motivation does he have to do differently?

The truth my dear, is that some people learn by words, while others only learn by the hard blows life gives them. Don’t use your feelings. He will thank you some day.

The decision is yours, but since you asked…

A man of great wrath has to suffer punishment; for if you rescue him, you will have to do it again. Proverbs 19:19