This is something so common I must write about it. This is  how the problem usually happens:

1.      An individual starts a relationship. All goes well in the beginning: the partner’s trust is earned and both get along just fine. As time goes, the dating period develops into moving in together, which may even, mean marriage.

2.      Feeling extremely confident, the individual in question does things that destroy the relationship. He (or she) tells a lie, flirts with people on social networks, gets emotionally involved with someone from the job, gives into an addiction, physically hits the partner during a fight, says horrible things to hurt the partner, behaves like a child at home, does not care about the relationship, etc. In short, does something foolish worthy of a Certificate of Dumbness.

3.      He (or she) loses the relationship. The partner gets tired of forgiving and giving another chance, disconnects from the relationship and does not want anything to do with the person in question anymore. Sometimes the companion goes away, and other times he or she becomes someone totally cold and closed to love.

4.      The culprit, filled with regret, desperately tries to restore the relationship. Now that he (or she) has lost it, he says that he changed and will never make that same mistake again. He wants yet another chance (after having received many) because “now it will be different”. He asks the father, the mother, the best friend, the pastor and even the puppy dog to put in a good word for him so he may be accepted once again. This hardly ever works.

It is like taking two eggs, cracking their shell, putting them into the frying pan, and preparing scrambled eggs. Then, after they are ready, regret frying them, unscrambling the eggs to revert them to their liquid state and return them once more into the eggshells. There’s no way this can happen.

People need to understand that certain things cannot be undone. Once you’ve cracked the shell of an egg, it will never hatch into a chick. If you have chosen to prepare scrambled eggs, you can’t change your mind afterwards and boil them. Our decisions bring consequences and we will have to deal with them.

“I cheated on my wife with her best friend, I lied, and during a fight, I told her I never loved her. But now I realize I love her and I want her back.”

 “I got involved in an affair with a married man, I got pregnant, and I thought he would leave his wife to be with me, but he left me alone. I want to be happy. I want someone who truly loves me.”

If you have scrambled the eggs, you will have to learn to like scrambled eggs. It doesn’t mean you will never be able to be happy nor that you won’t be able to rebuild your relationship with that individual or someone else. Given that the lessons are learned and the behavior has changed, everything is possible. But those eggs will never go back into their original state.

That is what you must bear in mind before cracking the eggshells.

Get help while there is still time.

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