We received this very interesting narrative from Leila, where she tells us her story:

First of all, I would like to thank you for your insatiable dedication to helping families.  Unhappiness in the home is the thing that most derails someone’s life.

Secondly, I came to give a testimony of what happened in my marriage. For some time I’ve been asking God for wisdom to manage my home. From the time we were dating my husband already drank, but I didn’t worry about it because it was all fun and games. After marriage it continued. We fool ourselves into thinking that things will change after marriage. They don’t. Every Saturday we would go out for lunch. He always started drinking before lunch and would only stop when he could no longer stand up straight. We always fought about this.

My weekends were terrible… But I always honored him, independent of his attitudes. One Saturday, like any other, he really embarrassed me from drinking so much. That is when I cried out to God… I asked Him to give me wisdom, because I was tired of talking and nagging him about his drinking. So I searched on Google: what to do so my husband stops drinking. A very wise message of yours showed up, Renato and Cristiane. What called my attention most was what you said about the consequence of mistakes, that I needed to let him feel the consequences of his actions instead of protecting him, as I always did.

So I wrote him a letter where I told him all of the things that I would stop doing, and I presented it to God with faith. I asked that He remove the blinds from his eyes, so that he could see that he was not only destroying our relationship, but everything else too…

From then on my life changed. I did everything I wrote, and God heard me.

Little by little, on his own, without me having to nag him, he changed. Today he is a new man. My mother always taught me that we should see if a person’s good qualities outweigh their faults. His always did. My husband always made me feel that I was the most special person in the world, he is a companion, a friend, who goes out of his way to give me what I desire, so I would ask myself, why not fight? I just didn’t know how, but God showed me the right way, and for His glory, we were baptized together a week ago!

God has molded us according to His will. Our story is very beautiful; we conquered all we wanted through the power of love and the wisdom that comes from the Lord…

May God’s Light always shine on both of you. Thank you!

Some lessons from Leila’s story:

1. If the problem is already present when you are just dating, it will continue after you are married, probably worse. Therefore, resolve the problem before getting married.  And if it does not get resolved, don’t get married.
2. When she saw her attempts had failed, she turned to God.  Never underestimate the power of faith to accomplish the impossible.
3. She courageously used her faith and intelligence.  She followed our advice and decided to no longer accept her husband’s behavior.  She made it very clear to him that she would not accept it anymore and what she would do if he continued.  She did this without attacking him.
4. She stopped nagging him and began nagging God so that He would give her the wisdom to deal with the problem.
5. She went to church to fight through prayers; she didn’t try to fight by herself.

Congratulations to Leila for her attitudes and results.  We are very happy for you.

The good news is that these lessons can be practiced by anyone.  Don’t just read our advice, follow it. Bring God into your problem.  Go seek Him in His house; don’t just sit at home waiting.

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