Universal Church of the Kingdom of God

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thumb do blog Renato Cardoso
Blog Renato Cardoso

What Nelson Mandela taught about love that can change your relationship

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“No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” Nelson Mandela

A day doesn’t go by without a wife or husband coming to us asking for help with a problem. “I don’t love him(her) anymore.”

You learn to stop loving. When our eyes start to focus on the other person’s negative points, everything she does that’s hateful, everything she doesn’t do that you would like her to do, the result is the loss of love.

But love is also something that can you learn, doing the opposite. The problem is that people think that they don’t have control over what they feel. They think that if they feel hate, it’s not their fault, and there’s nothing they can do about it. And if they feel love, it’s also something natural, divine, magical, involuntary; a beautiful sentiment they have no power over.

Mandela was right. No one is born hating or loving. You learn to love and hate. It’s what we’ve talked about on The Love School as well as in our books: intelligent love learns to love.

Contrary to popular belief, love is fruit of intelligence, and not of the heart. You can control your feelings and even change them by the things that you think and do.

Do you want to go back to loving your husband or wife or any other person?

  1. Try to understand their point of view
  2. Stop looking for flaws and focusing on them
  3. Stop watching the horror film of bad things that happened between the two of you; look forward
  4. Remember regularly what attracted you in the first place
  5. Do the things you did for him(her) in the beginning, even if you don’t feel like it at first
  6. Stop listening to people who criticize your partner
  7. Educate yourself on how intelligent love works — re-educate yourself emotionally
  8. Forgive
  9. Ask God to restore the love you had for him(her)
  10. Start back at number 1 until love comes back. Be sure that it will come back