Many research studies now suggest that those who take a forgiving attitude toward others not only make better friends, neighbors, and co-workers – anyone could guess that – but are themselves happier, healthier people who live longer than others and know more success in life.

Forgiveness is good not just for the person forgiven, but for the person who forgives. People with good sense restrain their anger; they earn esteem by overlooking wrongs, says the book of Proverbs 19.11 in the Bible.

Some people hold grudges because they think forgiving the other person would be letting them get away with it.

That’s not true.

When you forgive, you set yourself free from the other person’s wickedness. You rise above them.

Steps to forgiveness:

1. Decide to forgive (yes, it’s a decision, not a feeling)
2. Pray for the other person and/or force yourself to think only good thoughts and wishes for them
3. Refuse to let your mind play the movie of what happened that caused the grudge. When that movie starts to play again, go back to number 2 above.
4. Become forward-looking. It’s what you do from now on that counts — in relation to yourself and to that person.

Remember, these steps are about you, to benefit you, not the other person (he or she might not even know you have that grudge…).

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